Ink+slingers+2010

We are learning to add significant detail by expanding our ideas.

The laser detects the teat and sends to a computer which places the cup on the teat. The robot pinpoints the exact position of the four teats using a laser. At this time the robot is also cleaning and disinfecting the teats. The robot sends the message to the computer, the robot then locates the teats and attaches the cups one by one.

Look at your brainstorm, choose an idea and expand it.

Our original ideas. __ Our expanded ideas. __

Sometimes people are looking for a change of lifestyle or culture. __ Immigrants may move to another country because somebody told them that, that country was nice and they decided to move. __ They may choose to have a holiday and then decide if they really want to move there.

__ A family member may have suggested __ that they move to the same country, so that they can be close to each other. If people have an ill family member, they will often move so that they can look after them. They will get a better chance to visit their loved ones in their last moments of life. People often feel more safe when they are close to family, and will move countries to be close.

WALT: use the language and features of information report writing.
 * WALT: Identify the structure of an information report.
 * WALT: Sequence ideas logically.

What do we notice about an information report...
 * Gives objective facts.
 * Shares information not an opinion.
 * You can include pictures, diagrams, and graphs etc.
 * Introduction, body and conclusion.
 * The body is separated into paragraphs about different ideas.
 * 5 Ws and H.
 * Includes a definition or classification in the introduction.
 * The conclusion includes a summary.
 * Be selective.

Why do refugees want to come to New Zealand? > >
 * They're allowed to come to New Zealand with out many problems.
 * Refugees are trying to escape their country, and New Zealand is far away from other countries.
 * There aren't any wars currently in New Zealand.
 * They want to escape war, famine, persecution.
 * New Zealand has good politics by comparison.
 * New Zealand is well organised.
 * New Zealand has a lower crime rate than other countries.
 * New Zealand doesn't have any terrorist groups that we know of.
 * New Zealand is a safe place.
 * We have good health and education systems.
 * We have more rights than the countries refugees are escaping.

We are learning to use the language and features of persuasive writing.


 * WALT: Identify and use the head, body and foot of an argument.
 * WALT: be objective.
 * WALT: support our ideas with data.
 * __WALT: develop our ideas by thinking about cause and effect.__

Chair argument

You have an info sheet, it tells you about two different schools who have shortened their lunch times for different reasons... Today we are going to think about the CAUSE and EFFECTS of these changes.

What were the causes for... Epsom Primary School
 * Shorter lunch times is better for students learning according to research their own trial.
 * Most bullying happens in the last 10 minutes of lunchtime so this should reduce it.
 * Students will not get as tired when they have a shorter lunch time.

Gisborne Boys High School
 * Students were leaving school for no reason.
 * Children won't be as tired and they will be more focused.
 * They will get to go home earlier, this will make their learning more bearable in the summer.

What are the effects of the changes each school made?

be taught before lunch. || Students are more focused and on task. ||
 * Cause || Effect ||
 * Core subjects could

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The head (introduction) needs... A position. Your opinion about the subject. Usually a statement. Introducing your argument. Mention some of the main ideas of your argument.

The body needs... Main ideas. Paragraphs. Supporting ideas that back up your main ideas.

The foot needs... You can offer a solution. Recap your main ideas. Restate your position. A good finish.

What issues do we have that we care about? The rubbish problem The water fountains don't have enough pressure or have bubble gum on them. The little kids suck on them. Smiggle products at school. The tote trays are too small. The school pool is too shallow, the changing rooms smell. Smaller people should have higher chairs.

Water fountain problem.

Dear Mr Carroll and the Board of Trustees, (My Position). The pressure is far too low.

We have 4 water fountains. 3/4 or 75% have miniscule pressure. 1/4 or 25% starts with satisfactory pressure but dies down to a dribble. We can measure the height and the amount of water that comes out

The Room 10 fountain has a difficult lever to turn on. Time children to see how long it takes them to turn on.

25% of fountains has bubblegum.

**What does an argument need to to be an effective piece of persuasive writing?**
 * //Facts, objective ideas, statistics.//
 * // Structured well, organised paragraphs, head, body, foot. //
 * // Persuasive language: Personal pronouns. Modal verbs. //
 * // Position. //
 * // Main ideas that are backed up with supporting ideas. //
 * // Does this writing actually persuade me to agree? //

We are learning to show personal voice in our writing.

Personal voice = Showing our personality through writing.

Lets identify our own personality...

Miss G... Be quiet Krang Boot camp Greet everyone in the morning ignore the neighs and take the yays run to the posts happy cones comedy try really hard responsible mischievous mean to brother likes children and animals

The koala and the tree. By Nick and the Ink Slingers... Chapter 4 " I won't get off" Koala screamed. Peow, peow peow, this is fun. I'm never ever getting off, EVER! I don't know what Giraffe's problem is. I can give him a back rub or scratch his neck when he can't reach. Giraffe noticed Koala's scheming face. He knew he was not going to get off easily. This meant war, he would force him off, but how? Hmmn maybe Chewbacca could help me, if only I'd watched the whole movie. I will have to improvise.

Giraffe gurgled and purred throughout the zoo. The monkey saw what he was doing and joined in the wild ruckus. "Ooh it's Chewbacca" Koala was exhilarated. Finally he's playing my game. Now I will never have to get off him, EVER! Giraffe could see Koala's mind ticking over. What next? Giraffe swung his tail like a light saber. "Aargh, you got me" Koala squealed. "I'm dying" Koala collapsed and slid down to the ground. "Sucker" Giraffe turned and bolted back to his cage, bowling over several pedestrians. Koala pouted and hung his head down low. Tears started welling up in his eyes. The people were leaving and the sun was falling behind the hills. Poor little Koala was still tucked up in a fur ball. The tears weren't welling anymore. They were streaming down his face.

We are learning to...

Use precise language and language features to paint a picture for the reader.

Look at our prime minister John Key. Using this picture how would you describe him to somebody who has never seen him before?



Smiling like a bird flying up in the distance, with a faint carpet shark nose towering over the bird. John Key's cheeks bulge out like a bubble, popping as he speaks. Guilty brown beady eyes stare out at you. Butterfly wings capture the tortuous arguing voices. His face is like a leathery terrain. The chin hangs down covering all signs of a neck. A blanket of mousy brown covers his head.

WALT: Show and not tell when we write to keep the reader interested in our writing. A loud crack breaks the atmosphere and I turn to see my dad lowering his shot gun. || I was in the bush. The trees were big. My dad shot the bird. ||
 * Show || Tell ||
 * The great, green pine trees tower all around me, like giants from a fable.

WALT: Write with impact to keep the reader interested. What is impact?

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Hunting

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How will we know we are successfully writing with impact to keep the reader interested? This is our criteria...


 * What do we need to do to write with impact, so that we can keep the reader interested? ||
 * * Precise langauage.
 * Language features
 * Check that our whole piece of writing is interesting.
 * Describe the scene to paint a picture.
 * Use our senses to paint a picture.
 * hook the reader from the start.
 * Be selective. ||