Scribblers+2010

We are learning to use the language and features of persuasive writing.


 * WALT: Write in sentences that make sense.
 * WALT: Add detail.

Why people choose to come to NZ? Why do people choose to leave their country

Our ideas from our brainstorms...
 * They might have family over here.
 * They leave their country because of war, famine, persecution or disaster.
 * NZ has a low crime rate.
 * They don't like the way their government runs their country.
 * They move to have a better life in their home.
 * If they have children they may want them to have a better education.
 * They come by any route they can find.
 * They sometimes travel by unseaworthy boats that can sink.
 * There are steps you must take to emigrate.
 * They might not feel safe enough to live in their own country.
 * Some people leave their country because of a job opportunity.
 * It's a nice temperature over here.
 * Their own country may be too crowded.

Lets choose one of our ideas and add more detail to it... The blue ideas are where we have expanded our ideas even further...

__They might have family over here.__ People may move countries so that they are physically close to family members who they are close to. Some people have close relationships with their siblings or parents and find it hard being away from them. Children and sometimes partners may be forced to move because one parent or both want to. One parent may want to move because their family members are overseas, where as the other parent may want to stay or may have family in the country where they already live. People may not want to move because they enjoy their life in their country, but they do move because they love their family. Some people will move closer to family members who are sick, because they may not see them again. Some people move when their family members are dying to look after them. People may inherit a house after a family member has passed away and may choose to live there.

Remember these are still our basic ideas, we still need to think about our sentence starters.


 * WALT: Identify and use the head, body and foot of an argument.
 * WALT: Identify and use emotive language.
 * WALT: Develop our ideas further by explaining our reasons.

Animals in circuses

The head (introduction) of an argument needs... Position Audience Introduces the main ideas.

The body needs... Main ideas Supporting ideas, ideas that back up the main ideas, reasons.

The foot (conclusion) needs... Position Concludes the main ideas.

Emotive words are words that make you feel something. The make you relate to an emotion.

Hedgey the Cat

We should keep feeding it. __//The Outram School cat should be looked after.//__

We should destroy it. //__The Outram School cat should be destroyed.__//

//__Lets think about our audience...__// //__What do we know about Mrs Mac__//

// She feeds the cat. She is an animal lover and a kind person. // // She's a teacher. She is a good choir teacher. Mrs Mac takes Brownies. She cares about the school and the environment. //

// Dear Mrs Mac // // The outram school cat should be looked after. // // The cat doesn't deserve to die. It is more scared of you than we are of it. //

// It wastes your money. //

We are learning to... Apply the strategies we have learned to a narrative.

We have already learned how to... Add thoughts and comments to our writing. Use precise language and descriptions to describe and add detail. Language feature including onomatopoeia, punctuation for effect, metaphor and simile, rhyme, repetition, personification, alliteration. Paint a picture in the readers head. Lots of descriptive language to show the reader what is happening not tell them. Organise our ideas into paragraphs. Plan our ideas. Apostrophes in the right places. Writing with impact to keep the reader interested. Be selective to keep the reader interested. Hook the reader in.

We are learning to... Write with impact to keep the reader interested. Be selective to keep the reader interested in our writing.

Nathan excitedly reached in and grabbed the slimy smelly old eyeball from the bag. "Eww" Georgia W cried. "I think I need to go outside". We were trying to saw the eye so the black watery gunk wouldn't come out.

What is impact?

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Hunting

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How will we know we are successfully writing with impact to keep the reader interested? This is our criteria...


 * What do we need to do to write with impact, so that we can keep the reader interested? ||
 * * Be selective.
 * Use precise language to paint a picture for the reader.
 * Short and long sentences.
 * Detail.
 * Language features.
 * Organize our ideas into paragraphs.
 * Interesting sentence beginnings.
 * Use punctuation for effect. ||